10 Happiness Mantras for Moms… :)

That important meeting, a birthday party in neighbourhood and your friend’s engagement – all happening at the same time. You have to attend one and make up for another. Yes, it does get messy at times. Enjoy the beautiful mess. Choose to be happy. 

Here are 10 simple tips to be a Happy mom.

1. RELISH 5-MINUTE BREAKS 

When you are having your favourite juice, sipping your coffee or walking to the nearby store, just enjoy it. Disconnect from rest of the world and enjoy your me time.

Imagine sitting on your couch, looking outside the window and appreciating the beauty of nature with a glass of juice in your hand. Enjoy that juice and think neither about past nor future.

2. GO EASY ON YOURSELF 

There will always be some critics who do not approve of your parenting style. Let them be. You know what is best for you, your family and your baby. Ignore the criticism if it pulls you down and is not constructive. 

Every night before you sleep, think of ten great things that happened to you in the day. You will see the significant positives overpowering the insignificant negatives. 

“Our own worst enemy cannot harm us as much as our unwise thoughts. No one can help us as much as our own compassionate thoughts.” ~Buddha 

3. BUILD YOUR INNER STRENGTH 

A 10-minute meditation ritual every morning or evening can work wonders for you. It will keep you centered, mindful and sane the rest of the day. There are many mobile Applications with guided meditation audios, relaxation music and sleep stories. Once you practice this for a few days, you will experience the super power it gives you.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment,  live in the breath.”  ~Amit Ray

4. DO WHAT YOU LIKE 

Create time to do things you really love to do – reading, listening to music or dancing. If it requires for you to seek help from others, do not hesitate. It does not make you selfish or less caring, it helps you destress. If you neglect yourself, it will make you irritable. 

If you need half an hour to have a conversation with your best friend, tell your family and slot time to speak to her without any disturbance. At times, we assume too much and do not communicate what we want. Ask and you shall be given. 

5. TREAT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU 

You want your employer, your family and your friends to understand you, appreciate you and trust you. Do you empathize with yourself enough? Believe in yourself, respect yourself and go easy on yourself. 

Our personality is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves and how we treat ourselves. When we take ourselves seriously, the world is bound to. Believe you are a Queen, treat yourself like a Queen and you will be treated like a Queen. 

6. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST

“Many people are alive but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.”  – Thích Nhất Hạnh 

Sometimes when we are too busy, we just keep thinking about completing the work. Do not look at your life as just series of jobs to be done. Enjoy everything that you do. Life is not the big achievements; it is the million little things. The time with mother nature, great interactions with good people, sharing and caring is all happening while we are chasing our big goals. Acknowledge and enjoy all of it. 

7. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS 

Most of us stop dreaming or give up on our dreams after becoming a mom. Once you start believing in your dreams again, you will find ways to give time, efforts and attention to this while still managing the other things well. You just have to believe in your dreams. 

“Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.”  ~Robin S. Sharma 

8. STAY HEALTHY AND LOVE YOURSELF 

Eat healthy, stay healthy and stay fit. However, do not chase size zero. As long as you are healthy and are able to take care of yourself, your family and your work, you are beautiful. Love yourself for who you are and love your body. 

9. BE THE GIRL YOU ONCE WERE 

There are no rewards for being sane all the time. Sing out loud, dance in your living room and play crazy games. In fact, motherhood is all the more an opportunity to be a child again. 

The best thing about kids is that they are not inhibited. It takes immense energy to be self- conscious all the time. It is ok to let loose at times and just be yourself without the fear of judgement.

“In today’s rush, we all think too much — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle 

10. HAVE FAITH- IN PEOPLE AND UNIVERSE 

Amidst all chaos and uncertainty, it is faith that keeps us going. Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them. It is faith in visible and invisible, known and unknown that keeps us strong. Have faith. Stay true to yourself, keep your loved ones by your side and stay strong. 

In pursuit of happiness, we need to just pause and be happy. Happiness will not come to us that one day; it’s experienced every day in little things like these. So, be happy and pass on the happiness to your child. After all, kids don’t need a perfect mom, they need a happy one. Wish you a calm, meaningful and cheerful life ahead. 

Defensive Pessimism vs Mindful Optimism?

In stressful times like these, many people adopt an inclination towards defensive pessimism: prepare for the worse and hope for the best. To my mind this is a losing strategy. Events are neither good nor bad. It is our thoughts that make them so.

Defensive pessimism keeps us on the lookout for the negative, and over interpreting events through a very dark lens. The problem is seek and ye shall find. Being inundated with negative thoughts keeps us stressed and feeling helpless— neither of which is good for our health and well being. To hope for the best may sound fine but actually on closer inspection it has a pessimistic outlook built into it that is absent from expecting the best. Hoping for something acknowledges that defeat is a real possibility. Expecting defeat through a series of social psychological processes too often creates defeat.

Mindful Optimism, on the other hand, is not burying one’s head in the sand with a certainty that all will be fine, but still helps us live fully moment by moment without stress. Uncertainty is not newly upon us. Everything has always been uncertain. It feels new because people tend to confuse the stability of their mindsets with the stability of the underlying phenomena. That is, all is and was always changing and not fully knowable but we may have felt we knew because we were oblivious to the inherent uncertainty.

We can worry or relax and things can turn out to be good or bad. If we worry and everything turns out fine, we’ve stressed ourselves unnecessarily and wasted precious time. If we worry and if turns out to be bad we’re no more prepared for it than if we didn’t worry. If we relax and it turns out bad we’ll be stronger to deal with it and if it all turns out to be fine we can continue behaving adaptively.

So what should we do if we want to adopt this more successful life strategy of Mindful Optimism, in the time of a pandemic?

Make a plan for yourself, such as frequent hand washing (which is always good) and engage in social distancing and then go back to living fully moment by moment with the implicit expectation that all will be fine.

About the Author

Ellen Langer


Dr. Ellen Langer, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and the first female professor to gain tenure in the Psychology Department at Harvard University. She is the author of eleven books and more than two hundred research articles written for general and academic readers on mindfulness for over 35 years. Her best selling books include Mindfulness; The Power of Mindful Learning; On Becoming an Artist: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity; and Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility.

Dr. Langer has been described as the “mother of mindfulness” and is also the founder of The Langer Mindfulness Institute. Among other honors, she is the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship and three Distinguished Scientist Awards, the World Congress Award, the NYU Alumni Achievement Award, and the Staats award for Unifying Psychology. Most recently she received the Liberty Science Genius Award.

The inside story

I can ruin your day, your week, your month or even your year.

I can destroy your personality, kill your happiness and break you from inside.

I am a parasite. I can live inside you, be born inside you and survive.

I am fueled and nurtured by you, inside you.

I can hamper your relationships, hinder your actions and strangulate your confidence.

You can try to fight me with all your will and might but you would fail, definitely.

I am impossible to fight, or kill, or eradicate. I don’t exist, I am.

You are human, and I… am DOUBT.

————————————————————————————————-

I am not found anywhere and can be found everywhere.

In the smallest quantity possible if I am adapted, I have an immense power to help you fight the most disastrous of existing and non-existing monsters.

I am the easiest and the most difficult to find.

I am the world you create and I am invisible.

I am the flip side of doubt, it’s divine twin.

I am as powerful as my evil twin in intensity but anti-oriented.

I can make your dreams come true, strengthen your inner self and fill you with joy every day, every minute, every second.

I am the secret ingredient of beautiful relationships, satisfactorily rewarding actions
and the thing called confidence.

I am a very close friend of Love. Together, we create the beauty in the eyes of the beholder.

You don’t have to fight doubt, if I am embraced by you. By the nature of creation, doubt can’t survive near me. It has to be either one of us. Can you get both head and tail on top on flipping a coin? Choose yours.

You are human, and I… am FAITH.
Hi there
! 🙂